I have been very hesitant almost afraid to record and process our foster care journey here.  However after much thought and prayer, I am going to write about what is going on.

The first reason for this is that I am convinced that part of the “control” of foster care is  isolation and fear.  I totally understand that this child is not mine and that I need to have permission in order to do certain things such as hair cuts and vacations.  However the emotions I feel are mine and  I definitely do not need permission for my feelings.  I am going to present the fact as I see them and my feeling, if you choose to read or see something else that is  not on me. I also understand that not posting his pictures on social media is a way of protecting me but posting my thoughts is not the same.

Our court date in October caused me a significant amount of anxiety. I don’t do well with the unknown.  My anxiety was increase by a text from a caseworker the week before stating “I think you will be pleased with the recommendation.”  Excuse me but how am I pleased.  We are struggling over here, visits are hard and have a significant increase in physical aggression and a significant increase in my interrupted sleep. Yet I hear him tell me that he misses his parents and I understand that a seven year old can’t process the whys.   I also have witness first hand the level of neglect and trauma that he has.  I also have been told of even more and often have been told “somethings you just would not believe”.   We are part of significant improvements that he is making while in our care.  For me, there is no being pleased I just want what is best.

For clarification, he started with us going to school 2 hours a day for the first 90 days of school. Out of those 90 days he had missed 45 days and been late 37 of the days he did attend.  We were able to slow increase his time in the classroom to a full day by May.  Lily and Kendall spent hours each day not only driving to pick him up but also working on catching him up. He knew 13 letters by name and was significantly behind in math as well.   Currently he is reading on a second grade or higher level and able to answer comprehension question as home.  He is able to count by 1,5, and 10s to 150, completes most addition and subtraction problems on grade level.  He is able to carry on conversations and has not had one single behavior problem at school since living with us!

Now back to court, Lily and I arrived and sat in the courtroom.  The case was continued due to a new court appointed attorney was given to his mother and she was not notified.  I will add here that I did find out that Dad’s court appointed attorney did not notified him of DSS until that morning as well.   We go to court November 17th. Frustration is the only word to describe how I felt leaving that day.

I was very surprised to get a call from the case worker the next afternoon. She informed me that DSS was recommending that all visits stop!!  And that following that recommendation, DSS had 30 days to file for termination of parent rights. Both parents were informed of these recommendations the day of court.  These will also be the recommendations presented in November. The one negative things is that because of the continued case one visitation will occur prior to court.  I am currently thankful that only one has been scheduled prior to court.

I have been able to ask E if he would like to stay with us  and he is excited. I have been careful to clarify that it is the judges decision.

I have alot more foster information that I want to write about and process but I will try to include only one a week to catch up depending on if any major changes occur.